Saturday, October 25, 2008

Spot On!

If you have young children and/or teenagers in your home please go read this article at The Wall Street Journal dot com:

The 'Trophy Kids' Go To Work

Thank you BooMama for the link!

I would love to hear from you after you read the article.

Tell me what you do in your home to try to avoid such thinking.

Here are a few things that came to mind:

We don't give our kids an allowance (except for over and above).
They all have many chores.
We encourage them to tithe/give.
As a family we serve and pray for others.
We allow them to fail and help them through the process.
We talk til we're blue in the face about how God has blessed us and all we have (health, family, material, spiritual) is from His good and gracious hand.
Sin = consequence (and this comes in many forms now that we have teenagers)
Seeking forgiveness is not only Biblical but it also teaches them how to humble themselves before the one they have sinned against.

Your turn!

UPDATE: Go here for a few more comments and discussion.


Anonymous said...

interesting..considering I just spent time in Barrington. What amazes me is how many kids are graduating college and have never held a part time job through school or summer. A REAL job, in a work place, not a summer babysitter. where you are the boss, and the only one.
Maybe we were old fashioned, but at 16 all my kids had jobs, except for the season they were in sports. Julie and Karyn both worked through college. we paid tuition, room and board. I was NOT paying for beer and parties. And Julie graduated with a savings account and bought a condo within 6 months of graduation! How many go on to masters, without ever getting the first job out of college? We supplied food, clothing and a roof over their heads. (and family vacations, and presents) but many things they wanted, they had to save for. Nothing was just "given" because they were cute. Even at college graduation. we gave them money for a car. their choice to buy new or make car payments. We left a lot of decisions up to them. And we helped when we could.
Ok, I have jammed up your mailbox here. but, you have hit upon a real nerve with me.
Kris Schwarz

Dot O said...

I hope I'm at least doing some things right. My daughter is just 17 and my son will be 15 in December. They both work at our parish rectory to earn their spending money. However, I do give them each a $5 allowance per week. But, some weeks they don't get it..

They both have experienced many disappointments throughout their grade school years and we have allowed them to fail. We too have made a point to emphasize that God is responsible for all that is good in their lives. Apologizing is important and they know that.

They are both involved with the youth ministry of our church and while they have occasionally told me they find it "boring", I've also tried to drive home the point that it is not always about them.
I hope that I am not producing two children who feel entitled.

That article was an eye opener... Thanks for sharing, Janet.

Janet said...

Dot O, I think the allowance thing is a very personal/family decision and I would never judge anyone based on their decision to give one. In fact, I know people who give allowance so that they (the parents)don't have to dish out money for all the little extra's.

I've been thinking about the article all day today. One thing that kept coming to mind is that somehow we need to teach our children to be others minded. Pride and selfishness seem to be at the core of this issue.

I'm really just thinking out loud here and I sincerely hope to hear from other moms and even moms of older children.

Dot O said...

Yes, pride and selfishness are rampant. I also know that we all (meaning those of us in our 30s and beyond) turned out pretty good even though our parents did not go out of their way to build up our "self esteem". Since I started having my kids, it was so impressed upon us that we really need to build our kids "up" and while I do agree that we need to support them and encourage them and tell them that there are so many possibilities awaiting them, there will be lots of very necessary bumps and bruises along the way and that those bumps and bruises serve to better prepare them for their lives ahead. Not making a team cut hurts but if you're not good enough to be on that team, well that happens (both of my kids were the "cut" kids).

My kids both have spent time with kids their own age and then have come home and told us how they can't believe how those other kids spoke to their parents - I mean yell, curse, and talk down to their parents and get away with it. They, at the rip old ages of 10 and 12, noticed this and my daughter just last week told me that she hates to hear how some of her friends belittle their parents.

I know that my husband and I have made, and will again I am sure, many mistakes in parenting but I think that one of the biggest things that my kids will take with them when they fly from this nest is that life hurts and life is good. You get out of it what you put into it. God is good and will always make things turn out the way they should (not always the way you hope), and that they should not expect anything to be given to them that they didn't deserve.

Several months ago I told both kids that down the road, their co-worker will probably be some very challenging people to work beside.....

I could say so much more but I don't want to fill up your comments area. Thanks so much for sharing this article.

These blogs are such a great way to communicate with and bounce ideas off of each other, aren't they?

The Arthur Clan said...

I can't wait to read the article you shared Janet, but first I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog.

I have visited your blog many times, but for some reason my computer many times won't let me leave a comment here. It is frustrating...but then I stopped by here today and it is now working! :) Knowing me, it's probably something very silly about my computer and I am just too much of a "computer dummy" to know what the problem is.

It's going to be so much fun to get to know you even better through this fun, crazy world we call blogging.

Angie in OH

Janet said...

Dear Angie, you have the most beautiful children! Wow.

Thanks for leaving a comment here too. :)

I hope your toe is getting better.

The Arthur Clan said...

Hi again Janet,

I just got a chance to read the article you shared and I'm so glad I did. Like Dot mentioned above, it was a real eye opener. It actually made me very sad to realize that a generation of young Americans turned out that way.

I remember when I was going to college in the 90's to become a teacher and they taught us many of the things that were mentioned in that article (ie. not using a red pen to mark mistakes on papers, not giving grades so that the kids wouldn't feel bad when they failed a test.) I was so disgusted at the time and my feelings on that haven't changed.

And now my comment is starting to turn into a book! :)

Is your weather still 91 degrees? We had our first snowflakes here today and it is FREEZING. Blech!

Angie in OH